My Endeavors

Ali Habibi,
Is the name I pick to represent my self in a brief way. Honestly my name is a quiet long name, 'Muhammad Sukron Ali Habibi' is my complete name to be exact. My father, a decrepit elderly almost seventy years old man currently- was vastly inspired by former 3rd President of the Republic. BJ Habibie- was his inspiration, but he doesn't want me to be an engineer such the young former president Habibie. He wanted me to be like him, but not exactly- only in footsteps. Religion and religious motivation is his spectrum that drive him to shape what he 'called' -Habibie in his version. Very wise-,

'Habibi' spontaneously uttered by my elder brother. The first sibling who visited me and my mom after my delivery- it means my lovely, his lovely young brother.

I was always surrounded by scientific and religious vibes at home. My father was just another civil servant who worked at Department of Religion in Human Resources division during the day and Koran recitation teacher at home during the night. My home more likely to be heard like a 'beehive' compared to neighbouring homes caused by the voices of few dozens of kids who learnt the koran recitation-, wish that Allah will admit this as a long lasting good deeds we used to known as a'mal jariyyah.

My siblings are mostly very good in their education and career. My first brother had been an English teacher since I was born, my sister Imtihan was a sharp student in her collage. She probably was in her first term when I was born. Her fellow classmates made fun of her when she excused to quit the class earlies to see her mother after delivery- by saying "Hey... Guys today Imtihan excused for giving birth", how silly!.

My brother Akrom who gave me 'Habibi', he is the son who quiet impressed my father. Later, he return home in 2016 bringing his P.hd degree from Northern Illinois University of Chicago. That is the real deal. My father was vastly thrilled by his accomplishments, so we are.

I have a sister and brother. Isnaini and Afwan who thrived in their education as well- as in our society, not every youth are lucky enough or have a strong will to finish their senior high school. But our father managed- even with his monthly salary as a civil servant, to support all of his childrens education. Nope, not just us as his decent children- some of our cousins and relatives also live here with us to continue their education. My father is blessed with quiet fortune to have a house located in Mataram- which is the capital province of NTB. And it is a undenyable fact that every type of public service is always few steps further compared to village or tribal area.

As a kid I grew up with a bunch siblings and relatives living with us at home. And I was always the youngest, to be honest- quiet spoiled compared to my fellow folks when I was growing up. Still, I managed to have fair friendship.

Our mother passed away in the early 2008. A big hit caused a huge dent in my life. A great loss in my early life. It drove my father, a quiet faster to his old days. He got stroke that cost his left body. Afraid of my further upbringing, he sent me to boarding school. A choice that I agree with.

Here's where my journey start. I never feel so lucky if I compared to my fellow folks who were already trived and trained to advanced level at Koran recitation. But english is my escape, this language none of my parent had spoken- but my brothers- eldest brother, Irwan and Akrom left their marks on me. I have such a delightful yet challenging journey in studying english. A contrary on what we are expected to learn which is Memorizing the Koran. The holy book we read days and nights- and still go on.

It is not as easy as it seemed actually, to start a new trend (a bilingual environment- it because arabic is always on the top and become supreme rule to apply). English doesn't come easy, but determination has to prevail. When memorizing holy koran feels numbing for me- english is how I relieve my self. Friends stare at me- some with gaze, suspicion, but mostly they respected it. It brings me quiet attentions, but attention never comes alone. Challenge is always with her. My interest and my goal are competing one another to get the to of priority.

TGKH. (A reference to a cleric tittle in my homeland Lombok Island- Southern east archipelago of Indonesia) Fathul Aziz Mustafa is the one I hope I would never upset. He is my dearest grand teacher and currently the head of my late boarding school in Al-Aziziyyah. He is our motivator, advisor, and inspiration. I can still remember how his voice echoed surrounding the musholla where we pray. A voice that none of his students could impersonate pricisely. His tongue is exceedingly eloquent in recitation of the holy Koran. His prayers wake up all at nights to continue our goals to accomplish this koran memorization.

I saw my friends and they succeeded and I couldn't pass theirs somehow. But he, his highness never see me in my flaw, he motivates me thru my core power. He said that I could thrive in both- english and Koran, a goal that I am still chasing.

Also I am gratefully thankful for having such a tender and strong teacher such Mr. Sidki Abbas, who mapped his vision within me. He said that I would had thrived in english speech by my second grade and Koran Interpretation by fifth grade. And by Allah's grace and blessings I did. His words are sharpen my deeds and prayer. And Mr. Bahriawan challenge me, yes he did. The teacher who challenge me to stay humble and insatiate against honors and complainments. To always seek for the room of improvement and walk out of my comfort core to challenge myself.

My father has an odd way to broaden my mind. At that time I was quiet felt jealousy ran within me when I compared what my father gave me and what my friend's father did. Not always money and supplies, he brought me books to read- yet furthermore to digest. Thankfully it raises my reading motivation. And I don't need to engage with guide books for each lesson I take because the books my father brought had covered it- mostly.

Now, I finish my studies in my boarding school- yet my koran memorization. Now, I currently work as a language teacher for my fellow collage juniors at my campus- Institute of PTIQ Jakarta. It is now my current challenge, between studying and sharing the knowledge and skills that I had to others. Balance is on demand this time. Hope this skech could relieve the readers in some ways, cause in each struggles are lesson to learn.

To be honest, tittle 'My Endeavors' in top of the article is vastly selfish to me. 'My' is an arrogant word I hope I will never used to describe my life with. But I don't want to keep it that it was me once upon time. The journey just keep on giving me lessons to learn, and experiences to taste. Some may shocking, and it realizes me that it's not merely my own, but also his, her, theirs and people's endeavors that helped me. This way will keep our head down and float us in prayers, cause nothing can really pay them enough for what they contributed-, either good or bad. Only God who knows and who can thank them enough.